Therapy & Coaching for

Sex & Relationships 

All my work is around sex and relationships. This is the area that I have been involved in throughout my 25 year career in Education & in the Mental, Emotional and Sexual Health sector.

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I work with many sexual issues so I focus of initially developing a trusting relationship. From this, healing and growth occur naturally. I apply this to all my work.  I use various techniques to support healing, emotional growth and relationship building. Examples:

Breathwork 

Body focus work to release emotions

Childhood resolution 

Creating and Expressing Boundaries

Energetic Rebalancing/Alignment   

Inner Child Connection 

Grief to Honouring

Heart & Brain Coherence

Separating trauma/abuse patterns from healthy patterns

Developing SAFE sexual/erotic landscapes

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Couples Counselling

With couples, I aim to be non-biased and to work for the growth of the relationship as this is different to working with each individual. A relationship is a space where two people meet and one reason we have them is to finish off childhood so we 'grow up' - often this can be a space of conflict, high emotions, frustration and confusion as neither person realises what is going on. Becoming aware of what is underneath the conflict is the first step to creating some understanding and peace.  

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Many couples benefit from some individual sessions to release emotional tension and heal trauma which is impacting the relationship. 

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Examples of couples work: intimacy issues/distance, secret use of sex and porn, communication, family dilemma, impact of trauma, grief impact, 'MOT' to sustain the relationship.

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Trauma (Sexual & Non-sexual)

Trauma affects most relationships, if not all, and creates issues.  It could originate in the form of childhood neglect, abandonment or early rejection. From the death of a parent in childhood (open, historic trauma) to body shaming (covert trauma) or sexual trauma (mix of historic, overt or covert trauma). You may even have PTSD. Trauma comes into most sessions in some form.

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With any trauma, in particularly sexual trauma, is so important that you feel you can trust me so the sessions may not start with the trauma. It is totally up to you. I want to be led by you and get to know you to build a trusting relationship. It may be useful to work on a somatic level with breath and soothing techniques first which will allow you to release some of the trauma then talk about it. You may never want to talk about it at all. In this case, I can support you to release the emotions and heal the trauma without words or a retelling of the story.

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It is worth noting that I do not repeatedly go back into stories as that does not support healing.

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Grief & Loss

Grief and loss comes up in all relationship work. Grief needs to be expressed otherwise it can impact health and communication in your relationship. Loss is part of everyday life and small losses can trigger other losses that have not been emotionally expressed.  Any grief or loss that is unexpressed has like a build up affect. It is called accumulative grief. I learnt a great deal about grief & loss working in Alder Hey Hospital with clients who had been affected by child death. Most significantly, I learnt that in every crisis/death there is also an opportunity to use this energy to be of service to another in a deeply meaningful and profound way.

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When you have had a death of a loved one as a child this affects all relationships if the grief is unexpressed. Grief blocks love so it is then hard to feel connected to your loved one and use this connection in a beautiful way in your relationships.  I am able to reconnect you to your loved one, find ways to honour them and use their loving energy in your life.  

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Men's Issues & Porn/Sex Compulsivity 

I work a lot with men around issues related to grief, loss, porn use, sex/porn compulsion (addiction), infidelity, sexual anxiety, sexual performance issues, problems getting into relationships, communicating and expressing self in relationships. I have compassion for men and the issues they face. There seems to be a lot of support for women but not as much for men. It is not as socially or culturally acceptable to express emotions or to seek help. Plus most are unaware of the dynamics of masculine and feminine energy so end up in relationships where they are not the masculine lead and feel powerless.

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I often hear men say 'I wish I had booked earlier'. I have witnessed men cry in relief and leave sessions with a far better understanding of themselves and the situation. This is powerful and may take just one or two sessions to open up space for a greater level of self-freedom and improved connection with others. A recent review from a male client after the initial 1 1/2hr session.